— EMOTIONALLY IMMATURE PARENTS —
Therapy for first-generation and Caribbean adults raised by emotionally immature parents
MyMindset NYC · Online therapy · Licensed in NY, FL & DC
You were managing everyone's feelings before you had words for your own.
You knew what mood the house was in before you took your coat off. You knew who to be quiet around. You got good at reading the room, and nobody thanked you for it, because nobody ever said it was happening.
You still do it. You track what everyone else needs without deciding to. And when somebody asks what you need, the question goes somewhere and doesn't come back.
Online therapy for adults raised by emotionally immature parents, across New York, Florida, and Washington, D.C.No waitlist. Most people start within a week.
— WHAT IT LOOKED LIKE —
What emotionally immature parenting looked like in our families
In a lot of immigrant and Caribbean households, none of it had a name.
Your feelings weren't dismissed on purpose. They weren't on the list. Your parents were in survival mode, and a feeling wasn't a problem the family had room for. Respect meant not saying what happened to you. A question could be heard as talking back.
One parent was emotionally distant, or both were. So you learned to settle yourself. Books. Television. A friend's house. Any activity that kept you somewhere calmer than home.
And you got good at managing your own state so you'd be read as well-behaved. Well-behaved was the cheapest thing you could be.
You translated, too. The documents. The phone calls. Later, the bills. Often the emotions as well: explaining one parent to another, and softening what got said so the temperature stayed down.
None of that is the same as being unloved. Most of the people I work with know their parents loved them. Love and emotional availability are two different things, and you only had one of them.
— THE ROLE —
The role you were given
In families running on survival, the roles get handed out early. Usually by birth order and gender, and nobody announces it.
The parentified oneYou did the parenting. For your siblings, sometimes for a parent.
The caretakerYou smoothed things over so the house could keep running.
The golden childYou were the proof the sacrifice had been worth it.
The scapegoatWhatever went wrong in the house found its way to you.
The lost oneYou went quiet and got out of the way, and nobody noticed you’d gone.
Most people recognize one of these straight away and a second one partly. Roles moved around when somebody left home. Nobody asked if you wanted the part, and you can still be playing it at forty.
— NOW —
Childhood emotional neglect: what it looks like now, as an adult
- You’re the responsible one in every room, and nobody had to ask
- You can read what everyone else is feeling and go blank when it’s your turn
- You’d rather do it yourself than risk being let down again
- You’re waiting for people to show up, and some part of you has already decided they won’t
Every one of these was the most reasonable response available to a kid who was paying attention.
— IN YOUR RELATIONSHIPS —
Attachment patterns in your adult relationships
The way you learned to attach is the way you're still attaching.
That can look like anxiety about where you stand with someone, or going quiet instead of saying the hard thing, or reaching the point in a relationship where you'd rather need nothing at all than risk needing something and not getting it.
For some people it includes infidelity or betrayal, on either side of it. That's individual work here. I don't do joint couples sessions.
For some it includes recovering from narcissistic abuse, at home or at work. What I mean by that is the experience of having your own read on reality questioned until you stopped trusting it. I'm not in a position to diagnose anyone you've described to me, and I won't.
— HOW THE WORK GOES —
How I work with childhood emotional neglect
I'm trained in somatic therapy and Internal Family Systems. Here's what that means in a session.
We go slower than you're used to. That isn't a style preference. If you grew up reading a room to know whether it was safe, going fast is the thing you already know how to do.
If you can't name what you feel yet, we don't have to start with words. This is the part that matters most here. A lot of people arrive able to describe what happened and unable to say what it felt like, and talking about it has a ceiling when that's the case. Your body has been keeping the record anyway. We can start there.
We treat the patterns as protection rather than problems. The part of you that performs, that scans the room, that says "I'm fine" before checking: those took their jobs early and for good reasons. The work is finding out what they're protecting.
This isn't a quick fix, and you don't need the whole story ready on day one.
— IS THIS A FIT? —
Who this is and isn't for
This is probably a fit if
- You’re an adult in New York, Florida, or Washington, D.C. during your sessions
- You want to understand why the pattern formed, not only how to manage it
- You can meet weekly or biweekly
- You’d rather not explain your family or your culture before the real work starts
And probably not if
- You want a short, focused piece of work rather than something that takes time
- You’re looking for couples sessions, or therapy for a teen or child. I see adults individually, and I’ll point you toward someone who does that work
- You need a full session conducted in Kreyòl. My Kreyòl is intermediate, and I’ll help you find a fluent Kreyòl-speaking clinician
- You need in-network insurance, Medicaid or Medicare
- You need crisis or same-day support. This isn’t a crisis service. If that’s where you are, call or text 988, or look for a non-police warmline through the BEAM Green Book
— WHAT TO EXPECT —
What sessions look like
| Format | Online, on a HIPAA-compliant platform |
| Length | 45–60 minutes |
| Frequency | Weekly or biweekly to start |
| Fee | $225, with a sliding scale from $140 |
| Where | Anywhere in New York, Florida, or Washington D.C. |
| Languages | English, with Kreyòl welcome in session |
| First step | A free 20-minute consultation |
What is an emotionally immature parent?
What are the signs you grew up with emotionally immature parents?
None of that is a diagnosis of your parents. It’s a description of what the household taught you to do.
How is that different from a narcissistic parent?
Do I have to confront my parents to get better?
Can I do this work if I’m still close with my family?
What if I can’t describe what I’m feeling?
Can I speak Kreyòl in session?
How much does therapy cost, and do you take insurance?
— BEFORE YOU BOOK —
Questions about therapy for emotionally immature parents
— WHENEVER YOU’RE READY —
You've read this far
That usually means something here landed. The next step is a free 20-minute phone call. You tell me what's going on, I tell you how I'd work with it, and we figure out together whether I'm the right person for it. Nobody signs anything.
No waitlist. If you reach out this week, we can usually start next week.
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